…Part of the problem of parenting is that we are repeatedly blindsided by problems. We are marching merrily through life when a child punches his sister or spills her drink. We are doing well until we are hijacked by life’s wacky fallenness.

But this is no accident; this is quite by design! C. S. Lewis puts this in perspective:
When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had no time to collect myself. . . . Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul. (Mere Christianity, 1952, New York: HarperCollins, pp.192, 193)

While cool, polite, steady social environments do not test the deeper layers of my character, family life does. It is here that we get the challenges that make us mad more than anywhere else (except maybe traffic!).

God gave us family life as much as anything so we could have lots of practice at keeping an eternal perspective.

Family life invites us to sacrifice our convenience and preferences in order to bless people who are still learning.

Parenting regularly stretches us toward godliness.

Our Partner in the Process

We must be very careful about our strategy for reforming our parenting. We simply cannot remake our characters. As C. S. Lewis reminded us: “After the first few steps in the Christian life we realise that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God” (Mere Christianity, 1952, New York: HarperCollins, p. 193).

Thus we learn, in the great scriptural pattern, to constantly call upon God for mercy.

Have mercy that I may be filled with Thy goodness.
Have mercy that I may properly value the children Thou has given me.
Have mercy that I may know their hearts.
Have mercy that I may be a messenger of Thy love.
Have mercy that I may have the wisdom and patience to teach well.
Have mercy that my soul may be reformed in Thy image.
Have mercy and change my heart and my family.

Through His mercy, we can be changed by His grace. With His help—His love, His nurturing kindness, His guidance for us—we can love, nurture, and guide our families in His way.

-- by Dr Wally Goddard (one of my favorites on human relationships, especially parenting)