…Part of the problem of parenting is that we are repeatedly blindsided by problems. We are marching merrily through life when a child punches his sister or spills her drink. We are doing well until we are hijacked by life’s wacky fallenness.

But this is no accident; this is quite by design! C. S. Lewis puts this in perspective:
When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had no time to collect myself. . . . Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul. (Mere Christianity, 1952, New York: HarperCollins, pp.192, 193)

While cool, polite, steady social environments do not test the deeper layers of my character, family life does. It is here that we get the challenges that make us mad more than anywhere else (except maybe traffic!).

God gave us family life as much as anything so we could have lots of practice at keeping an eternal perspective.

Family life invites us to sacrifice our convenience and preferences in order to bless people who are still learning.

Parenting regularly stretches us toward godliness.

Our Partner in the Process

We must be very careful about our strategy for reforming our parenting. We simply cannot remake our characters. As C. S. Lewis reminded us: “After the first few steps in the Christian life we realise that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God” (Mere Christianity, 1952, New York: HarperCollins, p. 193).

Thus we learn, in the great scriptural pattern, to constantly call upon God for mercy.

Have mercy that I may be filled with Thy goodness.
Have mercy that I may properly value the children Thou has given me.
Have mercy that I may know their hearts.
Have mercy that I may be a messenger of Thy love.
Have mercy that I may have the wisdom and patience to teach well.
Have mercy that my soul may be reformed in Thy image.
Have mercy and change my heart and my family.

Through His mercy, we can be changed by His grace. With His help—His love, His nurturing kindness, His guidance for us—we can love, nurture, and guide our families in His way.

-- by Dr Wally Goddard (one of my favorites on human relationships, especially parenting)

Memorial Day in the Beaver City Cemetery


Coming into the Beaver cemetery on Memorial Day is quite an experience! Many people have erected full size flag poles by family plots, and along with all the flowers it is a wonderful and beautiful and awe-inspiring sight!








Jeannie's Father's (Edward Thompson Murdock's) grave



While I was arranging the flowers and taking the pictures, an older lady approached me and asked if I was related to "Toss" Murdock. She grew up in Beaver and knew Jeannie's Dad. She moved to Cedar City about the time that "Miss Gaddie" came to Beaver to teach school, and she heard that Toss and Miss Gaddie had married and lived somewhere in the South. She shared some experiences, including one she and her fiance had with "Johnnie" (John R. Murdock, Jr., Jeannie's grandfather) in his drugstore in 1945 or 1946. Sharing more information, it turned out that she was also a great-granddaughter of W. G. Nowers and in Cedar City knew Barbara and Fred Adams and lived around the corner from Dixie and Lee Morrell (Barbara and Dixie are Jeannie's cousins). It is, indeed, a small world!

(Pre-) Memorial Day in Logan

After an exciting Evans Reunion on the Saturday before Memorial Day many of us journeyed up to the Logan City Cemetery.




The rain threatened but never intruded



Visiting with siblings is a rare and fun opportunity



Some more happy participants



Resting places for Marjorie and Laurie Evans, infant daughters of Ted and Mildred who died at or shortly after birth in 1952 and 1956, respectively.



Mom's (Mildred's) grave



Dad at his parents' graves (Frederick Charles and Caroline Eschler Evans)



David and Diane



Todd and Pamela



Mark and Nadine



Headstone for Jeannie's maternal grandparents, James and Mary Gaddie



Another view of the Gaddie headstone.



The beautiful setting for the Gaddies' graves, under an ornamental cherry tree they planted.

Fred and Carrie Evans Family Reunion!

The Saturday before Memorial Day was a reunion for the Caroline Eschler and Frederick Charles Evans Family. The initial site was planned to be Logan, Utah, but was switched to the Civic Center in Hyrum, just south of Logan, due to having an indoor venue available. About 100 descendants attended, most from the Utah area. Without going into too much detail, here is some background information (you can skip if you desire).

Frederick Charles ("Fred") Evans, 1872-1957,was the son of Frederick Henry Evans and Emma Raymond, two of the very first settlers in the Thomas Fork Valley in southeastern Idaho. He was an educator, rancher and farmer plus served in the state legislature and in several local and county offices. He was bishop's counselor for 11 years then bishop for 22 years.

Caroline("Carrie") Eschler, 1893-1947, was the oldest daughter of Gottfried Eschler and Rose Kunz. She was 14 when her father was called on a mission back to his native Switzerland, and for two years she had major responsibility with her mother for caring for 8 younger siblings, supporting her father and keeping the large dairy farm running. Most of the milk was made into cheese. She was also educated and played the piano some.

They had seven children: Roscoe, Alice, Legrande (died of appendicitis when 14), Ruth, Edith, Edwin (Ted) and Douglas (Doug). Edwin and Douglas are still living and both attended the reunion.



Sign heralding the EVANS REUNION!!!


The primary instigator of the reunion, my cousin Mary (Aunt Edith's oldest child and my age), with her husband, David Evans (not a close relative, just a coincidence)



My cousin Mont Evans, son of Uncle Roscoe, and his wife, Sherry. Also is a window salvaged from the home of Emma Raymond Evans, right across the street from the home of Fred and Carrie. Mont and my sister Diane brought most of the artifacts displayed (only a portion being in the photos below).



A wash stand built by Fred. One was placed in each bedroom.



Some tools used by Fred



Dining room table and lamps from Fred and Carrie's home, plus the bread box from Henry and Emma's home.



A chalk drawing by Emma Raymond Evans, wife of Henry Evans and mother of Frederick Charles Evans. According to the signed inscription on the bottom, she drew this for Roscoe's first birthday. (Roscoe was Edwin's oldest brother.)



Two surviving children of Fred and Carrie Evans: Edwin (91) and Doug (84)



A rare picture of Edwin and Douglas with their Mother (Caroline Eschler) and Father (Frederick Charles Evans)

How crazy to let the time go by without adding any of the exciting events going on here in beautiful SD! March 4th was a significant day for this household. And so we will march forth, but who knows where or when. Being in SD for 7 years has been a very great blessing for the fam. So many important prayers have been answered, so much has been learned. My gratitude is overwhelming. And we may just stay here, but right now it feels like we are in freefall as we try to decide what would be best and try to gain the guidance we need more than anything else.

What a great weekend with a quick drive to Penn Valley to visit Ryan and Rebecca, Tyler, Alyssa and Connor. Although it rained the entire time and the wind blew, it was exciting. We rarely see rain in sunny southern Cal, so it was nice! The landscaping is all in and the pool is filled, so their work is complete, and it is just gorgeous. Sweat equity pays off! Now if they can keep the water out of the laundry room, life will be good.

We left Friday at 3 pm and arrived at our hotel nine hours later. Saturday we had fun around the house with everyone. Sunday was great with Tyler's ordination and then we had to drive home, leaving again at 3 pm and arriving nine hours later. The rain and traffic didn't slow us down much.

Such an exciting year it has been! We are enjoying having Julie, Jim, Seth and Logan at our house while Julie and Jim work on school. The house is always a beehive of industry with more to do than hours in the day. Seth and Logan are a delight to have around and cheer our hearts with all their lively energy and projects. Logan hasn't lost interest in dragons or the Wii, while Seth is on his third book of origami, filling our house with all kinds of magical creatures made of paper.

After reading the American Heart Association study on sugar, I'm doing a survey of the foods I eat. The AHA said that telling people to cut down on sugar hasn't worked so they are now giving specific guidelines: 6 tsps daily maximum for women and 10 for men. BTW, a teaspoon of sugar = 4.2 grams.

Today in a meal replacement shake I noted there were 38 grams of sugar. Akkk! I don't know if I could get through a sugarless day, but am tracking what I do eat, so I hope I can cut down.

Naturally, sugars in fruits don't count; it's only the added sugars in processed foods.

If you, especially young mothers, haven't read Erma Bombeck's books(like "If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing In the Pits?"), try them! I think you'll laugh! I dedicate this post to my children and only wish I were as talented as she and could write a verse for each of them. But I'm transcribing some journal entries that might be fun.

This Erma Bombeck column, originally appeared in 1971, Titled:

I've Always Loved You Best

It is normal for children to want assurance that they are loved. Having all the warmth of the former Berlin Wall, I have always admired women who can reach out to pat their children and not have them flinch.

Feeling more comfortable on paper, I wrote this for each of my children.

To the first born......
I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, the promise of our infinity.

You sustained us through the hamburger years. The first apartment furnished in Early Poverty... our first mode of transportation (1955 feet)... the 7-inch TV set we paid on for 36 months.

You wore new, had unused grandparents and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the "original model" for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb, open pins and three-hour naps.

You were the beginning.

To the middle child...
I've always loved you the best because you drew the dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger for it.

You cried less, had more patience, wore faded and never in your life did anything "first," but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with and realized a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick. You could cross the street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married, and the world wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.

You were the continuance.

To the baby...
I've always loved you the best because endings generally are sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted milk stained bibs. The lower bunk. The cracked baseball bat. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.

You are the one we held onto so tightly. For, you see, you are the link with the past that gives a reason to tommorow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can't give us.

When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your children tower over you, you will still be "the baby."

You were the culmination.